Knowing your worth is something that takes time, it’s like a fine art. It develops and once you have that knowledge everything else comes effortlessly.
Knowing your worth comes in so many forms, I’ll talk about the ones I know, and have learnt to develop.
The most important form for me, is what you will allow from relationships, specifically, a loved one. This can be a family member, a friend or a romantic relationship.
We have so many relationships in our lives, and the hardest lesson that I have learnt is that people will not always treat you, the way that you will treat them. We have relationships with so many different people and we have contact with so many different personality types, so many different ways of being brought up, so many different morals and within this crazy world full of various people, we have our own people.
The people we are born with:
These people are our family or extended family, family friends and your old aunty peggy that always seems to have been there! With our families, comes an expectation that they will always do what is best for us, or what is right, and love us unconditionally, however, as some of us know, this isn’t always the case. Knowing your worth here is one of the most important things you can do. Unfortunately, in our lives, our family doesn’t always have our best interests at heart, but a lot of the time we put up with it because they’re our family, and we believe that they love us, it’s just ‘their way’ or whatever bullshit excuse we put in the way of what is actually going on. Once you know your worth, you’re then able to end ties with people that haven’t had your best interests at heart and have shown this time and time again. To cut a family member off is difficult, and challenging and I completely understand that, however, the negativity that said family member/members bring, only causes you pain and suffering and why should anyone have to undergo that type of abuse, especially from someone that the world says is supposed to love you, care for you and fill your life with positivity? Once you know your worth, you will no longer stand for emotional abuse or be put in situations that make you feel uncomfortable. We only get one life, and one time on this earth, and why should we waste it making small talk with people that don’t even know what our favourite colour is?! The answer is – we shouldn’t. Once you make choices that only positively impact you and make your own life better it is then that you will then be able to think clearly. Now don’t get me wrong, some people have challenging relationships with their family but their family genuinely does want the best for them – I’m not saying go and cut everyone off that says something you don’t like, you will literally have no-one if you do that! What I am saying, is know what you are worthy of and what you are not. Understand that your time is important and that you as a person are special and worth getting to know, be around, talk to and love. Once you know that, and once you truly believe it, your mindset will shift, and you will no longer make time for people that do not want to see you shine.
The people that come in to our lives as friends:
I believe that many people come into our lives to teach us something, to show us something, to open our minds or hearts to something, and then sometimes they stay and sometimes they leave. Sometimes because we’ve shared such wonderful memories with our friends, we’re not ready to let go of them once they’ve done what they came in to our lives to do. However, we have to try to remember that sometimes we just grow out of people, or they grow out of us and that’s okay, but it’s how we move on that’s important. When you grow out of someone, it can be a painful process for the other friend; they may feel that you’ve changed or are no longer the same person, most of the time, this is correct – but this isn’t a negative. For you to be able to grow and blossom is a beautiful, wonderful thing and it’s okay that you’ve taken this time to do this yourself; it’s a way of self-care. We sometimes believe that when people leave our lives, it’s a bad thing and we won’t find people that will understand us or we won’t be able to trust others like we once did with those friends – but trust me when I tell you, you will!!! You will find new people to trust, and the important friends, the truest of friends will stay, no matter what. Friends come and go, but you should never put up with something that is less than what you deserve out of fear you will lose that friend, because 9/10 it is their loss. Have the courage to grow as a person and be bold and proud of the person you are and who you are becoming, because at the end of the day we came in to this planet alone and we’ll leave the same way.
The people that come in to our lives as lovers:
These people are the people you have handpicked to be more than friends, to love and to hold, but not always till death do you part, again, that’s okay!! Learn to enjoy the moments spent with these people and what they have brought to your life. Falling in love is one of the most magical feelings in the whole entire universe. But knowing your worth is something that is so important when you are choosing your loved one. You should know what you will allow and what you won’t. How you will allow to be treated and what you will not allow. These feelings and morals should guide you when being in a relationship with another. Relationships are all about compromise, trust, and being kind to one and other. If you can stick to those 3 things, I’m sure your relationship will flourish, but once your partner does not treat you with kindness or does not compromise on things that are important to you, or trust you, this is when you should decide if it is best that you continue, and when you know your own worth, it’s easier to leave something behind that no longer shines.
Lots of Love, Lily.