What does it mean to live resiliently?
I’m not sure… I guess it’s deciphering what’s worth a reaction against what’s not. But unfortunately, sometimes we can’t help the response we give certain situations. Is that what makes us human? Or is that what makes us weak?
Within the workplace, we have to show resilience daily, along with compassion. At times it’s hard to find the balance between the two, because sometimes we care more than our minds would like us to, and we act with our hearts, with our emotions, over our own logic.
Today I got some feedback and ended up crying – embarrassing right? Or is it? As I lay here in the bath going over the conversation for the hundredth time in my head, I’m contemplating the reason for my tears and if showing them was a sign of weakness and lack of resilience or instead shows how much I care? I’m still not sure, but perhaps I’ll know after the pizza I order…
In the beginning of my career, I had a manager tell me that I need to show resilience instead of acting on emotion in the first instance; that being cross at a petty email is absolutely fine and often warranted, but it’s how you deal with the emotions when responding that makes us resilient. I’ve always took this advice with me and tried to utilise it as best as I could. I feel that in terms of petty emails for sure, this is something that I’ve grown quite good at (top tip – the old kill with kindness always does the trick).
But is it my anxiety that makes me second guess whether or not it was embarrassing to cry or is it my over active need to analyse every conversation? I don’t know, either way, we have to be kind to ourselves. It could have been the fact that it was my second day back at work after the most fantastical break and it caught me off guard and I simply wasn’t expecting it. It could have been the fact that I’d recently experienced some brain fog. Whatever the reason – it is what it is. 🤷🏽♀️
However, I don’t think it always matters how resilient you are as a person, because sometimes things affect you, we’re only human at the end of the day, and there’s other factors that make a simple scenario hugely bigger than what it actually is. We have to roll with the punches and deal with life. Some days are shitty, some days are better, but ultimately we’re here trying our best. Perhaps I wasn’t my most resilient self today, but tomorrow I’ll try harder.
But for tonight, I’ll order a pizza, feel sorry for myself and enjoy a nice bubble bath.
Take your shittier days in your stride, allow yourself to feel shit, eat all the snacks and watch shitty TV. Be kind to yourself and surround yourself with people that will take the time to build you up when you don’t have the energy to build yourself up.
Sometimes things don’t go as well as we’d hope, but that’s okay because tomorrow’s a new day, with new wonders; so have your time to wallow and feel like utter shit. Eat the whole of the Nutella jar and fuck what anyone thinks, but start fresh tomorrow.
You’ve got this, we’ve got this.
Lots of love, Lily. 💖